My name is Michael Martinez. I am a 38 year-old born again Christian residing in Ontario, California. I surrendered my life back to God in May of this 2018. I was born in 1980 and spent my early childhood years growing up in a local grass roots church. During my early years in the Church, i was dedicated to God and had a deep loving relationship with The Father. My years growing up in the church saw powerful years of revival and and super-natural anointing’s and healing’s led by the Holy Spirit. My life as a young child of God, although presented with troubles in the household, had a deep sense of security, love, and peace, that only God was able to give me. I was introduced to porn at a very young age via my father’s stashed pornography and my cousins who watched it. I had a conflict of knowing that porn hurt my mother so I did not like to see women being objectified through porn, but was fascinated by the males role and bodies in the smut. I was growing confused, sexually, and growing apart from God.
My teenage years introduced my spirit to a world of rebellion and curiosity starting around the age of 12 where i found a connection and escape through “House” music via the underground I.E. “rebel parties” and “Happy Hardcore/Techno” music via the Los Angeles underground parties of the early and mid 1990’s. During my years of exploration, i found myself turning towards the LGBT lifestyle. I had thoughts of homosexuality in younger years, and came to a place where i honestly believed that i had been born Gay from the get go (something i even believed up until specific revelation from God in recent months). My early adult years saw my lifestyle turn into a darker place of lifestyle choices and unhealthy sexually driven addictions, accompanied by addiction to Marijuana, Meth, and Alcohol. My spirit which was once comforted, loved and found solace in Gods grace, had now somehow been taken over by a dark force powered by snares of manipulation, lies, and ultimate deceit and betrayal brought on by the Prince of darkness himself.
Fast forward to last year, May of last year to be exact. I was just living, thats all, breathing and living, spirit-less. I was at a place where i was not happy at all anymore. It’s funny when i tell people this because all anyone ever saw or knew of me for the past 20+ years was a mask wearing happy-go-lucky Mikey. Always laughing (while inwardly hurting), always smiling (on the outside), always there to lift other peoples spirit (while killing my own), always keeping it real (while being the biggest fake), and always standing up for Truth (while living a lie). And when i thought LIFE coudln’t get anymore crappier than it was, God showed me just how low my bottom would really be. That bottom in May, was all of my hurt and frustrations, found at the bottom of countless bottles of Whiskey and Vodka, digesting tiny pieces of crushed up bleach tablets to satisfy a strange craving caused by nutrients my body was lacking. I was never one to ever think about committing suicide, but in May, i was at a place where i was actually okay with dying a death from alcohol. My body was failing, my heart was hurting, and my spiritual life was dead.
…And then God happened! In that place of ultimate darkness, i surrendered EVERYTHING to God. I cant explain how or what it was, but i know i was done with it all. I was done with the addictions- to drugs, to alcohol, to sexual immorality, to self harm, to low self esteem. I was done with the emptiness- the reject, the pain, the sorrow, the loneliness, the lack of self worth, the lack of having purpose. I was ready to do anything God was to ask of me, if he could just take it all away and give me the peace and love i had known when i was that little kid in church growing up and dealing with life on Gods terms! I was ready to come back to the Father, ready to put the world behind me and the cross before me. When i called on God this time-he answered. I was delivered literally overnight from the alcohol and and from the desire of living a homosexual lifestyle. It’s still something new to me, but i wouldn’t have it any other way. My God is so amazingly awesome. That peace and joy i have come to know again is beyond words. The most blessed part of my testimony is the finding of my purpose in serving others for the desire of winning hearts to Gods kingdom.
In March of 2019, our family patriarch, my grandpa, or “Opa” as we called him passed away. He left behind a legacy rooted in pastoral missionary ministry over seas and was an integral part of planting so many seeds amongst my family. With his passing, came a deeper desire for me to not let his words and wisdom he shared my entire life not be lost or forgotten. He always told me ,”Mikey, you’ve gotta be RADICAL for Jesus”. And that’s how I am now living my life. I was always radical for all the wrong reasons and causes, it is now time to be radical for Jesus! In May, I attended my first Freedom March in Washington D.C. Meeting other radical soldiers for the Kingdom has encouraged me to stay strong and keep sharing my testimony, that of Gods love and redemption and how he took me from broken to chosen.